It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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