I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
