oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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