I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize