Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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