he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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