Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
