what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
