I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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