No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
