omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
