you guys were way drunker than both of me
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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