i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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