You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
