Having a random hookup so left but love u
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
