who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
