a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
