to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
