I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
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I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
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I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?