Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.

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  (617): This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us. http://tfl.nu/j1fo
  Replies (11) Good night (2168) Bad night (827)
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  (714): View more from California

  I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.

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  (714): I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie. http://tfl.nu/xp3y
  Replies (36) Good night (7209) Bad night (1022)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.

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  (843): Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place. http://tfl.nu/9vyk
  Replies (36) Good night (1717) Bad night (6176)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick

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  (210): Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick http://tfl.nu/y4fo
  Replies (61) Good night (5634) Bad night (1295)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."

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  (605): i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here." http://tfl.nu/dk13
  Replies (20) Good night (9151) Bad night (1848)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.

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  (360): Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk. http://tfl.nu/ed4r
  Replies (12) Good night (4573) Bad night (770)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.

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  (717): this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl. http://tfl.nu/auau
  Replies (19) Good night (1742) Bad night (4278)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw

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  (717): looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw http://tfl.nu/7d00
  Replies (5) Good night (3606) Bad night (957)
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  (315): View more from New York

  as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training

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  (315): as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training http://tfl.nu/gwbi
  Replies (5) Good night (1655) Bad night (710)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face

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  (319): I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face http://tfl.nu/7v6p
  Replies (9) Good night (1817) Bad night (592)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless

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  (709): its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless http://tfl.nu/73du
  Replies (5) Good night (637) Bad night (533)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  That's my new pick up line call me a polish name

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  (773): And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad. (1-773): That's my new pick up line call me a polish name http://tfl.nu/jbx5
  Replies (5) Good night (951) Bad night (366)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it

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  (443): My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it http://tfl.nu/2q57
  Replies (6) Good night (1031) Bad night (326)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick

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  (602): Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick http://tfl.nu/v1r0
  Replies (4) Good night (555) Bad night (323)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night

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  (508): I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night http://tfl.nu/3slk
  Replies (2) Good night (446) Bad night (321)

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