Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"

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(512): Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo" http://tfl.nu/rorc

Replies (30) Good night (4720) Bad night (570)
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(817): View more from Texas

You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time

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(817): You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time http://tfl.nu/ixfn

Replies (44) Good night (7311) Bad night (3991)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.

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(205): Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that. http://tfl.nu/r5hc

Replies (33) Good night (3844) Bad night (1128)
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(281): View more from Texas

Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.

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(281): Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes. http://tfl.nu/y77d

Replies (11) Good night (879) Bad night (4087)
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(719): View more from Colorado

On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.

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(719): On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour. http://tfl.nu/o2dj

Replies (6) Good night (3171) Bad night (647)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.

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(651): She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations. http://tfl.nu/80vt

Replies (8) Good night (3280) Bad night (703)
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(239): View more from Florida

Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.

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(239): Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate. http://tfl.nu/8ri3

Replies (6) Good night (914) Bad night (1961)
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(254): View more from Texas

Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.

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(254): Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat. http://tfl.nu/sxj6

Replies (20) Good night (1506) Bad night (512)
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(618): View more from Illinois

And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it

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(618): And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it http://tfl.nu/zwsy

Replies (5) Good night (1436) Bad night (536)
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(207): View more from Maine

Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.

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(207): Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing. http://tfl.nu/esgk

Replies (9) Good night (1849) Bad night (505)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.

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(215): she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here. http://tfl.nu/hoyt

Replies (8) Good night (866) Bad night (637)
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(410): View more from Maryland

You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.

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(410): You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club. http://tfl.nu/mn4e

Replies (3) Good night (558) Bad night (282)
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(219): View more from Indiana

i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver

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(219): i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver http://tfl.nu/fqhq

Replies (2) Good night (874) Bad night (295)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.

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(601): This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt. http://tfl.nu/idus

Replies (4) Good night (200) Bad night (462)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....

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(306): we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter.... http://tfl.nu/0sk3

Replies (2) Good night (124) Bad night (401)

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