I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
