Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?