It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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