At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
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Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon