I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize