STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.