Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
