If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I want her autograph on my taint
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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