Sponge bath it is.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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