Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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