farters have to be the big spoon...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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