i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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