I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
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She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
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Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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