in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
