We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
