Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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