I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
