we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
