You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
