Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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