I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize