If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
