this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm sobbing to NWA
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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