he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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