The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
