I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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