I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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