you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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