Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
