So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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