I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
