She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
