how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
