Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
