Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
