At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
