So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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