I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just want nice things and good sex
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
