i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
