Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
