Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
