What did we do last night that was yellow?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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