apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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